Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Squam State of Mind

You'll know me by my tiara...

Everything I wrote five months ago about my Squam-related anxiety is still true, to one extent or the other, but it's all been boiled down to two main thoughts, flip-flopping through my head as I pack.

I'm going to miss my kids like crazy and I want to take that girl into the woods.

Honestly, I don't have many expectations of the next five days. Tomorrow morning I'll get up, get my big kids off onto the bus (hopefully; they're both home sick today), send my daughter off to her music class with her daddy, finish packing, and pick up a fellow Squammie at the local train station so we can ride up together. (She needed a ride and posted she was willing to take the train from Connecticut to Boston. How about to Rhode Island, I offered. So I'll pick her up at the station ten minutes away. It'll be nice to have company on the ride up, too.)

I do, however, plan to be out of contact. My cell phone is only good for making and taking calls, and I'm not sure how good the reception will be anyway. My husband can get ahold of me if necessary, and I can call to say hi to the kids. I can't tweet, text, or post pictures from my phone (I've kept it that way thus far by choice; when I am out in the world, I want to be out in the world, not in a screen). I thought about leaving my laptop at home but decided to bring it just in case I want to research places to stop on the ride home--it's helpful to do that ahead of time if I think I'm going to want to stop for lunch, since you can't always tell where you might find gluten-free food on the road. But I don't plan on checking or sending email, posting pictures, or, well, being in a screen while I'm away. I'll report back next week--this also gives me time to soak it up, take it in, and think about it before talking about it.

I am bringing way too much stuff for someone who used to travel light. I have a bag of yarn odds and ends and needles for one of my classes, a backpack full of various art supplies (although I'm not sure the weather is going to cooperate with any attempts at plein air painting), my box of embroidery floss (because I offered to teach anyone who wants a floss bracelet how to make one, since this is, after all, sleep-away camp), clothes for all temperatures, and I'll be bringing a bag of food and a cooler, too, because of my own food issues. I'm bringing my two current knitting projects, but I'm not sure how much free time I'll spend knitting. Knitting (and embroidery too) pulls me down and in, focused on what I'm doing, and I would rather be up and out, noticing what's around me--which is why I'm bringing the drawing and painting supplies. And I'm also bringing binoculars and my bird book, because I think I'll wish I had, if I don't. And I really, really want to hear loons, and see them too, if possible.

I'm not sure I ever mentioned which classes I'm taking. I'm starting with Three Tools, because I know nothing about woodworking, and am also taking Dive Into Design, because it sounded like it would apply not just to knitting but also translating what I see into other forms as well. I believe I'm also down for the Squam Extra Manipulating Stitch Patterns, but I think those are very loose and if I'd rather have the free time, that's okay too.

So, I will report back next week on my little get-away. Here I go...

9 comments:

Karen Isaacson said...

I can't wait to hear all about it. I went back and read your fears post and alternated between poo-pooing them all, and totally identifying with them. (case in point - those little tiny letters worrying that you're not cool or talented enough. I snorted - of COURSE you're cool and talented enough - but when it's my turn to go I will have that exact same fear in the pit of my stomach)

safe travels!

amy said...

Funny, Karen, of all the fears I listed in that post, that one is probably the only one that's fallen right off the list entirely. I've done a lot since January as far as figuring out what makes me happy to create, and feeling more confident in what it is I'm drawn to and what I can do has quieted down the "you're not good enough" whispers.

*I* can't wait to meet you in person at the end of the month!! That class is a huge stretch for me so maybe we'll have the insecurities conversation all over again...

Michelle said...

SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
:)

See, I think I would have felt much better about going if I could drive there. And bring a cooler. Stupid planes.

Jill said...

What Michelle said! Have so much fun! I'll be thinking of you.

Rose Red said...

Can't wait to hear all about it! Have a wonderful creative time!

MadMad said...

Have a wonderful time and a well-deserved break, Amy! Can't wait to hear all about it!

Jen said...

Yay! I'm so happy for you! Have a wonderful time! I can't wait to hear all about it when you come back. I'll be thinking about you. I can't wait for the year when I'll be able to head up to the wood!

Donna Lee said...

I think leaving the internet at home is a wonderful idea. It is good to take a break and turn it off for a while (although don't tell my techie husband I said that!). This is going to be so good for your soul.

And as for being cool enough? Doesn't everyone worry about that at one time or another? You are as cool as they come.

Olivia said...

Have a great time, I hope it's everything you hope and maybe a few good surprises as well!